Horror films often fail to deliver the scares their genre promises. Some rely entirely on brand recognition, hoping audiences will show up based on a familiar title alone. These low-budget, poorly marketed franchise extensions are always gambles. For my month-long horror movie marathon—one film and review per day for twenty-eight days—I selected “Amityville: Uprising” (2022), currently available on Peacock. I pressed play with cautious optimism, though experience has taught me that anything bearing the “Amityville” name without connection to the original films typically disappoints.
On The Mark At the Go
The film’s premise is straightforward:
“A chemical blast at a military base sets off a supernatural disaster in this tense action-horror thriller. As Sgt. Dash tries to keep the peace at the local police station, the explosion unleashes a toxic acid rain.”
Credit where it’s due—the movie delivers on this promise. The narrative primarily unfolds at the Amityville police station, and the inciting incident is indeed a massive explosion that produces an ominous mushroom cloud, suggesting a nuclear origin. This setup aligns perfectly with the film’s core concept.
Digging Into the Meat
The setup is functional: a local precinct, a cast of cops and bystanders, and one protagonist—Sergeant Dash—tasked with maintaining order. Dash is written as steady and dutiful on the job, but notably absent as a father, rattled when his teenage son drops in for a visit just as chaos erupts. The chemical fallout triggers a storm of acid rain, which doesn’t just maim its victims but reanimates them into the undead.
Checked Boxes, Missed Marks
Formula-wise, the film checks the boxes: a character with a goal, an escalating threat, and personal stakes tied to family. Execution, however, is where it all crumbles. To call it underwhelming would be an understatement. The low-budget effects are glaringly obvious, and in horror—especially zombie horror—artistry is everything. When the atmosphere, makeup, and effects fail, the terror collapses. Instead of chills, the film provokes scoffs and unintended laughter.
No Depth, No Dread
Hopes of salvaging the experience with strong performances don’t pan out either. The acting is excessively hammy, tipping into parody rather than horror. Characters are flat, one-dimensional, and devoid of meaningful backstory, making it nearly impossible to care about their survival. Attempts at emotional resonance, particularly in the final act, feel predictable and half-hearted—eliciting not sympathy but sighs.
Brand Names as Warning Signs
Of course, this isn’t the first time the “Amityville” name has been used as little more than a hollow lure. Over the past several years, anything with Amityville or Ouija in the title has become a red flag, a warning of thinly stretched, underdeveloped content dressed up as branded horror. Fool me once, maybe. Fool me this many times, and the fault’s on me. Will I dive into another Amityville knockoff? Doubtful. Though, against better judgment, I’ll still give Ouija another shot—with low expectations firmly in place.
Final Judgement
For viewers stuck for something to watch, this might serve as a passable one-time distraction. Those who enjoy cheesy horror that drifts into unintentional comedy might even find some charm. But anyone seeking genuine scares, strong execution, or substance will be better off revisiting a classic. “Amityville: Uprising” doesn’t rise—it barely staggers.
Uncut Diamonds 